Chords:
{t:Ballad of Barry and Freda}
{artist:Victoria Wood}
{key:F}
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpGQTbaXRSY
[F] Freda and Barry sat one night, [Dm] the sky was clear, the stars were bright.
[Gm7] The wind was [C7] soft, [Am] the moon was [D] up.
(Slower) [Gm7] Freda drained her [C] cocoa [C7] cup,
[F] she licked her lips, she felt su-[G]blime.
[Dm] She switched off 'Gardeners' Question Time'.
[Gm7] Barry [C7] cringed in [Am] fear and [D] dread
(Slower) [Gm7] As Freda grabbed his [C] tie, and [C7] said:
{c: }
[F] Let's do it! Let's do it, [C7] do it while the mood is right!
[C7] I'm feeling Appealing, [F] I've really got an [F7] appetite.
[Bb] I'm on fire with desire, I could [F] handle half the tenors in a [D7] male voice choir.
[G7] Let's do it! [C7] Let's do it to-[F]night. ? [C7]
{c: }
[F] I can't do it! I can't do it, [C7] I don't believe in too much sex.
[C7] This fashion, for passion, [F] turns us into nervous [F7] wrecks.
[Bb] No derision! my decision, I'd [F] rather watch 'The Spinners' on the [D7] television.
[G7] I can't do it; I [C7] can't do it to-[F]night.. [C7]
{c: }
[F] Let's do it! Let's do it, [C7] do it till our hearts go boom!
[C7] Go native, creative, [F] living in the living [F7] room.
[Bb] This folly is jolly, [F] bend me over backwards on me [D7] hostess trolley.
[G7] Let's do it! [C7] let's do it to-[F]night. [C7]
{c: }
[F] I can't do it! I can't do it [C7] me 'eavy breathing days have gone.
[C7] I'm older, Feel colder, [F] it's other things that turn me [F7] on.
[Bb] I'm imploring: I'm boring, [F] let me read this Catalogue on [D7] vinyl flooring.
[G7] I can't do it. I [C7] can't do it to-[F]night. [C7]
{c: }
[F] Let's do it! Let's do it, [C7] have a crazy night of love!
[C7] I'll strip bare, I'll just wear [F] stilettos and an oven [F7] glove.
[Bb] Don't starve a girl of a palava,
[F] dangle from the wardrobe in your [D7] balaclava.
[G7] Let's do it! [C7] Let's do it to-[F]night. [C7]
{np}
[F] I can't do it! I can't do it,[C7] I know I'd only get it wrong.
[C7] Don't angle for me to dangle, [F] me arms 'ave never been that [F7] strong.
[Bb] Stop pouting; Stop shouting,
you [F] know I pulled a muscle when I did that [D7] grouting.
[G7] I can't do it; I [C7] can't do it [F] tonight. [C7]
{c: }
[F] Let's do it! Let's do it, [C7] share a night of wild romance,
[C7] Frenetic, Poetic! [F7] This could be your last big chance
[Bb] To quote Milton, To eat Stilton,
To [F] roll in gay abandon on the [D7] tufted Wilton.
[G7] Let's do it! [C7] Let's do it to-[F]night. [C7]
{c: }
[F] I can't do it! I can't do it, [C7] I've got other little jobs on hand.
[C7] Don't grouse around the house, [F] I've got a busy evening [F7] planned.
[Bb] Stop nagging; I'm flagging,
[F] you know as well as I do that the
[D7] pipes want lagging.
[G7] I can't do it; [C7] I can't do it to-[F]night. [C7]
{c: }
[F] Let's do it! Let's do it, [C7] while I'm really in the mood!
[C7] Three cheers! It's years since I [F] caught you even semi-[F7] nude.
[Bb] Be drastic; Gymnastic, [F] wear your baggy Y-fronts with the [D7] loose elastic.
[G7] Let's do it! [C7] Let's do it to-[F]night. [C7]
{c: }
[F] I can't do it. I can't do it, [C7] I must refuse to get undressed.
[C7] I feel silly, It's too chilly, to [F] go without me thermal [F7] vest.
[Bb] Don't choose me; Don't use me, me
[F] mother sent a note to say you [D7] must excuse me.
[G7] I can't do it; [C7] I can't do it [F] tonight. [C7]
[F] I can't do it, I can't do it, [C7] It's really not my cup of tea.
[C7] I'm harassed, embarrassed, I [F] wish you hadn't picked on [F7] me.
[Bb] No dramas, give me my pyjamas,
the [F] only girl I'm mad about is [D7] Judith Chalmers.
[G7] I can't do it, [C7] I can't do it, to-[F]night. [C7]
[F] Let's do it, let's do it, I [C7] really want to run amok.
[C7] Let's wiggle, let's jiggle, let's [F] really make the rafters [F7] rock.
[Bb] Be mighty, be flighty,
[F] come and melt the buttons on me [D7] flameproof nightie.
[G7] Let's do it, [C7] let's do it to-[F]night. [C7]
[F] Let's do it, let's do it, I [C7] really want to rant and rave.
[C7] Let's go 'cause I know, just [F] how I want you to be-[F7]have.
[Bb] Not bleakly, not meekly,
[F] beat me on the bottom with the [D7] 'Woman's Weekly'
[G7] Let's do it, [C7] let's do it to-[F]night.
[C7] [F]
